Text Messages Saved in My Phone, Volume II

(Volume I)

I don't wanna get fired. I think I'll have another beer

you ready to twirk?

Thou doth loveth thee

Great. Let's both stay alive

what?! I have two joints left!

not fucking with us

happiness nazi

If this is about your crazy dream world, I do not want to hear it.

weird but awesome. almost kind of sexy

Wanna live like Jack and Sally?

vodka is surprising

No! Come back to where you belong.

Where are you going? I love beer!

the sexiest combination I can imagine

Yes! Yes! I love you!...I do

studying is hard and essays really suck, but little presents make you a happy little fuck!

come to your doorstep you fine ass bitch and 4 presents waiting will be the shit!

I'd like to have a lady, I think.

E.T. phooone hoooome

people bleed orange in tennessee, you know

I am what the plan is

Get your ass over here.

Maybe he's a liar? Or you are just very popular.

Girls... can be so cruel

go eat pizza and getchasome